March 2, 2020

A Capital Idea

I can tell the Uber driver wants to talk. He—the app informs me his name is Thomas—has now twice looked into the rearview mirror of his Honda Accord and flashed me a smile. Both times I have felt his gaze and both times I have looked up from my iPhone in order to volley back his smile with a toothless one of my own.

Audi has recalled a part, and I dropped off my car for servicing this morning and am now in an Uber, with Thomas, in order to pick it up.

My brother loves to talk to Uber drivers. He considers it an opportunity. To learn something new. To connect with another human being. He looks forward to these chats. He then shares them with his family. I wish he were here to talk with Thomas. But no. It is going to be me.

Thomas now looks at the rearview mirror for the third time. Here it comes.

“Hot,” he says. He has an accent. He is from Africa. I had guessed even before he spoke. He was very tall. Had the driver’s seat of the Accord pushed all the way back. I was sitting in the back behind the passenger seat. I don't think anyone could have fit on the other side.

“Yes,” I reply. I have had pretty good luck with monosyllabic responses nipping these things in the bud. But today there would be no nipping.

“It reminds me of my country,” he says.

I look at my phone. The Uber app says 27 minutes until my destination. I didn't really want this conversation but now I am in. I will text my brother the details.

I am guessing Kenya but am not really sure.

“Where are you from?” I ask.

“From Tanzania,” he replies. “Do you know it?”

I have never been to Africa. Going on a safari, albeit a five-star luxury safari, was on my bucket list.

What did I know about Tanzania? Virtually nothing. Mount Kilimanjaro, one of the seven peaks—the highest mountains in each continent—was located in Tanzania. And its capital was Dar es Salaam. That’s all I knew. So it is what I told Thomas. It was a little bit like someone finding out I was from Canada and then telling me they knew of Niagara Falls and Ottawa being the capital.

So it wasn’t much, but it was still something and, I suspected, better than most. I looked into the rearview mirror to see his reaction. I wondered if Thomas would be a little impressed. He did peer back at me but this time he was not smiling.

“Dar es Salaam is not the capital of Tanzania,” he scolded.

“It’s not?” I was pretty sure Dar es Salaam was the capital. I was put-money-on-it sure. Still, I didn’t want to start up with him.

“No, the capital of Tanzania is Dodoma.”

Dodoma? I had never heard of Dodoma. I knew my capitals. I was the geography guy in Trivial Pursuit. Okay, so maybe I didn't know every capital of every country in Africa—Equatorial Guinea Bissau was always a tricky one. Although not really. It is Malabo. But a capital I had never even heard of?

“Dodoma?”

“Yes,” he said “Dodoma.”

Then it hit me. Dodoma was surely the Swahili name for Dar es Salaam. That was a third thing I knew about Tanzania. Official language was Swahili. Or maybe it was the name the Christians used because Dar es Salaam is a Moslem name and the two predominant religions were Islam and Christianity.

That was four things. I was a veritable walking encyclopedia about all things Tanzanian.

Thomas was sure to be impressed big-time.

“Ah,” I said. “Is that the Swahili name for Dar es Salaam?”

“No. It is the English name for Dodoma. Dodoma and Dar es Salaam are two different cities. Dar es Salaam is on the coast while Dodoma is in the central of the country.”

Okay then.

“Sorry about that, Thomas. I had no idea.”

“There is nothing to be sorry about. But now you know.”

“I bet when you first got here you thought Toronto was the capital, huh?”

“No. I knew Ottawa was the capital before I arrived.”

“Nice. Okay. Well if I ever go to Tanzania I will make sure to learn more about it before going.”

“The capital is Dodoma.”

“Got it. And it is hot?”

“Yes.”

Now Thomas was hitting me with the old monosyllabic answers.

I don’t know how my brother does it.

My car was not ready. It would be another hour. Would I like a coffee? There was a Tim Hortons right next door. No, it’s fine. I have emails to answer, texts to send. I have both the New York Times and Kindle app on my phone. There was lots to distract me. I lasted about five minutes before going to Google.

What is the capital of Tanzania?

Look, am not saying Thomas is some sort of Uber geography scam artist, but Dodoma? Really?

Dodoma, I discover, as I pour a little of Frank’s hot sauce on my large piece of humble pie, is indeed the capital of Tanzania.

However, said the fool, the capital had been Dar es Salaam until 1974 when Tanzanian President Julius Nyerere declared there was to be a new capital. One in the middle of the country which would serve as the capital of all Tanzanians. And the transition, although announced in 1974, didn’t really become official until 1996.

“Aha,” I exclaimed. “So I wasn’t really wrong after all. I mean, not really.”

Teresa, the service and parts receptionist, did not seem to share my enthusiasm.

I kinda thought Thomas was being a little churlish. Thomas was selling me short.

Dodoma.

Okay. Now I knew. Bring on the Tanzanians. I was now prepared.

I went back to answering emails. Teresa went back to ignoring me.

But it gnawed at me. What if Dodoma was just the tip of the iceberg?

So I went back to Google.

Which countries have changed their capitals?

Teresa called my name, but I was reading and taking notes. Then I read some more. Finally I went to the service desk where Teresa told me unfortunately my car would not be ready until tomorrow.

That’s okay. I will call an Uber.

I was hoping for a Nigerian.

I would dare him to ask me if I knew the capital.

Oh man, I couldn't wait.

I’ll give you a hint.

It isn’t Lagos.

The end.